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The Legacy of Hattie Finney Banks

10 Aug

 

Secret

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/secret/#like-244527

Would you have kept this secret for two generations? Maybe my Grandmother Hattie Finney Banks kept secret the fact that my grandfather Hugh Banks killed my Great Grandfather Daniel Finney (Hattie’s Dad) so that she could keep her sanity.  Guilt, embarrassment, shame, humiliation. I’m sure in the beginning after the murder it was all there deep within her soul, mind and spirit. But My Grandmother Hattie Finney Banks kept the secret so she could raise her three daughters (one of whom Mable was to become my mother) in relative peace, quiet and safety without passing this terrible haunting to future generations.  No judgment from me, only understanding.

 

The Legacy of Hattie Finney Banks

Hattie Finney Banks

Grandmother Hattie Finney Banks

Hattie Finney was born Feb. 1905 in the poor coal mining hamlet of Davy, West Virginia.  A real looker in her youth blessed with a great sense of fashion and good taste Hattie though living in poverty was able to enhance her beauty through thrift and the ability to create something out of nothing.

With African and Sioux blood running through her veins her beauty soon caught the eye of the young men in the town. One named Hugh Banks seemed to have good prospects. Hugh like her Hattie’s dad Daniel R. Finney worked as a janitor. Not a high living job but one that could support a wife and future children. It also didn’t hurt that he was a strong strapping young man who was easy on the eyes.

They married sometime in the late 1920s when Hattie was in her early 20s looking forward to a bright future. Their first born child Mable Banks, (My Mom) was born May 2, 1930, and then came Helen on September 13, 1931 and finally Gladys on May 2, 1935. However as time progressed and the marriage wore on the initial first joys of wedded bliss gave way to drinking and horrible physical abuse from her husband Hugh. He regularly stayed out late getting drunk, spending the food and rent money on booze. A spirit of anger possessed him and he took out all the days slights on Hattie and their young children. Hattie always put herself between Hugh and the kids when he went on these violent tirades taking the brunt of the physical beatings and verbal abuse.

Finally on April 30, 1939 after a particularly horrible beating Hattie couldn’t take it anymore. In fear of her life she grabbed her three little girls and ran to the shelter of her parents’ house not far away. A very drunk Hugh Banks in hot pursuit of his wife followed her and demanded that Hattie and the girls return home with him. Hattie’s Dad, Daniel James Finney told Hattie to stay indoors while he went out to confront Hugh. Daniel Finney seeing Hugh in a violent drunken rage refused to allow his daughter and granddaughters to go with Hugh. An argument ensued and Hugh took out a pistol shooting Daniel Finney in the chest killing him instantly. Daniel’s brother Charlie Finney saw the murder, called the police and Hugh Banks was arrested.

Hattie and her mother Mary were devastated and in addition for many years Hattie carried the burden of guilt and shame that if she had not ran back to her parents’ house for protection perhaps her Dad, a strong healthy man would have lived even longer than his age of 75 years at the time of the shooting. Her choices haunted her for a long time but at least she found peace knowing that she had protected her three innocent young daughters and pride in the great love her Dad had for his family laying down his life for them.

Newspaper Clipping of the Murder

Daniel Finney Murder Newspaper Clipping

My Grandmother strong in her Baptist Faith eventually forgave her wayward husband supplying the information for my grandfather’s death certificate after his untimely death in prison from tuberculosis at age 30. No one from my grandfather’s family came to claim the body and he is buried  in the Potters Field attached to the prison.

Hugh Banks Death Certificate

Grandfather Hugh Banks Death Certificate

Daniel James Finney

Daniel James Finney Death Certificate

Shortly after the trial my Great Uncle Clarence came for Hattie and her daughters taking them to Dayton, Ohio where my mother grew up and later met and married my Dad Edward G. Palmer a union of 40 years that produced me and my brother Stephen.

Fast forward to the year 2000 when by then both my parents and my grandmother had gone onto glory. I met my common-law husband who like my grandmother’s relationship with her husband started off with great dreams and hope for the future but gradually deteriorated into an abusive relationship from which I too sought escape. For our final year together when the emotional, physical and psychological abuse was at its worst I prayed to God that this man would leave me and he did. He left me for a younger woman. A sigh of relief. A burden lifted from my shoulders. However though his physical presence was gone his psychological presence was rooted in my mind and soul. Though I had forgiven him it took years to dig up the roots and weeds of self-doubt and self-hate he had planted within me. Spirit never fails and after a brush with death from a minor stroke at age 49 and being Blessed to see 50 I began to experience a Change of Life. Not just from menopause which began physical changes within my body but spiritual and emotional changes. During all this upheaval my ancestors were with me, guiding me every step of the way. Each succeeding year as I progress through my 50s has brought me greater enlightenment and spiritual growth. Once I made the decision to answer my calling in this life doors open, thus here I am today to carry forward my Grandmother’s Legacy and be a blessing to survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse.

But unbeknownst to my Grandmother and Great Grandmother a little girl cowering in front of a dusty little used attic window had peered out becoming an eyewitness to her Grandfather’s being shot to death by her Dad. Mable was always the quiet one of the three girls who took in many things but let out little.  As the Bible says  of conversations concerning Mary and Jesus, Mable Finney Banks was a small girl who took in and absorb all the things around her and pondered them in her heart……………….  From now on the events of that day would follow her all through childhood, young womanhood, and as a married woman with children and as she battled her own demons of schizophrenia. I shall take up Mable’s story in the next segment.

Thank you Sisters and be Blessed!

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Learning to Encourage Myself

18 Apr

How to Encourage Yourself

Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City Singers

http://youtu.be/JbEaftzaFWA

Black Unicorn Rainbow

Black Unicorn moving towards the Rainbow

Extreme anger, panic attacks, uncontrollable crying and/or apathetic/zombie like fluctuations are defense mechanisms produced by our damaged psyches to protect ourselves emotionally. Just after I separated from my abuser in 2007 I went through a gamut of emotions. I was extremely high strung, angry and would lash out sometimes at total strangers. Now I do realize that a lot of that was a form of PTSD, stress and hormones since I had started to go through the Change of Life. Many times I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. Other than my estrogen going wild I believe the basis of my negative emotions was fear. Fear causes the fight or flight response and unfortunately I often got angry at the wrong people. However once I stood up to my inner demons and toxic family/co-worker bullies I began to feel better. I realized I had options. I did not have to feel this way. Another therapy for me was and is writing.

I wrote about all my emotions; the good, the bad and the ugly. There were times when I wanted to kill myself. I wrote an entire heart wrenching story on all the evil locked up inside my head. Words gave that insanity somewhere to go so it would not destroy me. I became stronger. Then this year more healing came, peace came through being a part of V-Day/1 Billion Women Rising and through joining groups that focus on domestic violence and sexual assault. Then I saw that my trials and tribulations were not in vain and not for my destruction but for the upliftment of not only me but all women who are going through and have gone through this horrible experience. I’m here to encourage and support. We Lean on and draw strength from each other. We Find Sanctuary among and within our tribe.  Love is a Helping Hand and a listening ear.

Bill Withers — Lean On Me

http://youtu.be/QPoTGyWT0Cg

Sometimes I still have panic attacks but they do not last as long nor are they as powerful or as strong as before because I’m able to defuse them. I tell myself that this fear I feel at the moment is only that, a temporary moment in time. I’m made of survivor and victory stock. Some of my ancestors settled the Americas, most came from Africa, and survived the middle passage, slavery, Jim Crow and all other types of bullshit. My ancestors lift me up above the fray. Then my genetic memory recalls that I am descended from the Queens of Mother Africa. I carry within me the DNA of women who sat on the thrones of Egypt, Ethiopia & Mozambique. They reigned and I reign. I’m stronger than my flaws, weakness and shortcomings. I’m an Overcomer. I’m stronger and more powerful than the words of deceit, anger and hate my ex- the abuser tried to sow into my soul. I will no longer allow his words of defeat to take root within my mind. Now I listen to, absorb and plant the words of my maternal ancestors within my soul, my psyche and my spirit. Courage, Boldness and Determination grows and manifests itself to and for my SisterFriends!

Judith Beheading Holofernes

Judith with the Head of Holofernes

Not perfect but able to move through the pain. I do not deny the pain but I refuse to give pain, sorrow, sadness or depression any authority in my life. I walk in my authority as a Victor not a victim.  I will not allow my life to spiral out of control. I don’t have to live in defeat. I have choices. I have options. Living my life like it’s Golden!

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. Thank you and God Bless

Anger and The 3 Ts — Trials, Troubles & Tribulations

16 Sep
Ten Lepers

Ten Lepers were healed, one only one return to give Thanks.

 

ANGER

USUALLY FROWNED UPON AND COUNTED AS ONE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS DOES IN SPITE OF its BAD RAP SERVE A PROTECTIVE PURPOSE. People who don’t get angry on the outside are really boiling mad inside which cause depression which in turn brings on diseases like migraines, high blood pressure, diabetes, and the like.

ANGER

Turned against innocent outsiders’ results in long term incarcerations among the perpetrators, bad relationships with family and friends and sometimes when an argument escalates beyond control the combatants may find themselves being taken to the hospital or to prison.

ANGER

Used to get to the root of a problem separating disparate elements can have positive outcomes if the therapist or interventionists can get the troubled self-destructing members to reach an understanding that continued bad choices will produce the same self-defeating results.

Challenges in the form of Trials, troubles and tribulations bring out the strength that is already in you. No outside force or power can help you if you don’t first help yourself. Once you make the determination within your heart everything else will fall into place. It’s like the character of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz. He sought what was within him all the time. All he had to do was face his fears even while being afraid. Once he realized that the Wizard was a charlatan he knew that the power resided in him all along. God is always with us and he never leaves us, sending His angels to smooth the pathway but allowing us to discover the power that lies within all of us. Rise up and take your place as a Rightful Citizen of Planet Earth!  We are the only hands God has on this earth to stop violence against women, girls or even pets. Make your house or home a sanctuary for one who has fallen off the straight path. Let’s create a friendly island of peace for our girl children. A Place of no judgement where they can be free to be themselves without shame, scorn or rebuke.

Jesus our Way Shower taught us how to be strong and that there is no shame in asking for help if you need it. Jesus gives many examples and situations which cause our strength to rise up within us. We are called to civil disobedience and to right wrongs within our community.

In Matthew 21:12-13 Jesus threw the money changers and sellers out of the temple.

 Matthew 21:12-13

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus at the Temple

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[a] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.

Matthew 21:12-13

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus at the Temple

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’”

Jesus Calls Herod a Sly Fox

At that time some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.” He replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will drive out demons and heal people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.’” (Luke 13:31-32)
____________________________________________________________

Jesus calling Herod a fox catches us a little off guard here. Did Jesus really call people names? Yes, when appropriate. He did not do it to hurt people’s feelings or out of childish anger or to be unkind. But Jesus called a spade a spade.

What did he mean by calling Herod a fox? A fox is a small, weak, wily animal that lives by cunning rather than strength. Jesus was drawing attention to Herod’s crafty, treacherous side. Herod was not a man worthy of trust or respect. He divorced his wife to marry his own niece, who happened to be his own brother’s wife. He beheaded John the Baptist because of a foolish promise made at a birthday party. He was a man of weak character who used his political power for selfish ends.

Now, we need to be careful here. As Christians we are called to love, forgive, forbear and be courteous to others. We should not go around calling people names as a general rule. Jesus rarely did. But there are times when we also must call a spade a spade. Sometimes a thief needs to be called a thief; the unfaithful spouse must be called an adulterer; the pornographer needs to be called perverted. There are times when evil must be confronted and named. There are times when Herod must be called a fox. Originally Posted by Ray Folwer

Jesus and the Woman taken in Adultery

John 8:1-11

New International Version (NIV)

but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

A new ministry for girls called Jephthah’s Daughters has been birthed. Please send donations and contributions to help young girls between the ages of 4 to 17 in need via PayPal to deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. The young ladies will receive care packages and counseling. Rest assured that you are supporting a good cause that will lift up young women who have been abandoned and neglected by their birth families.  Thank you.

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com

Seeker and Savior

3 Sep

Seeker and Savior

Siddhārtha Gautama Buddha and Jesus the Christ

“When I know the glass goblet is already broken every moment with it becomes precious.”Paraphrased from documentary film The Buddha”

2 Corinthians 4:7 (New King James Version)

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, which the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

Deval Premal

http://youtu.be/o4jx3sukfLM        

Live your life by Spirit

Live your life by Spirit

Siddhārtha Gautama was a seeker on the pathway to self-enlightenment.  He sought to reclaim the peace inside himself when said peace was disturbed when he saw poverty, sickness and evil. Siddhartha left the comforts of his palace, his wife and his newborn baby to seek out spiritual answers to life’s challenges.   Siddhartha Gautama’s journey is a Vision Quest of self-actualization.

Jesus was the fulfillment of the law and the gateway to abundance and eternal life for all people.  Jesus in his mission on Earth was and is the answer.  Both were the sons of Kings but each was on a different mission. Jesus knew his destiny; however Siddhartha had to discover his.

Both men once they started their ministry were interested in the everyday life trials and tribulations of the common people. In the ages when they were called Siddhartha Gautama Buddha and Jesus represented the Heroic Voice and the Noble Quest through the dark enchanted forest. They were Divine Nomads on a Divine Journey. Both sought oneness with the Beloved.

No matter what faith system we follow we are all called to be in the world but not to be part of the world systems. We are here as a light, a beacon of hope, a lighthouse for fellow seekers and travelers.  Many times during our journey the test comes and we wonder where I can be weak and wear my heartbreak on my sleeve.

Holy music is a sanctuary and a type of refuge.  The Sanctuary is freedom from the unrighteous bigots who cannot or will not accept the message of the prophet. Then there is the sanctuary of the suffering and suffering was not hidden from Jesus. Growing up as a simple Carpenter he would have seen and encounter all manner of suffering people.

  • “If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:19)
  • “I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.” (John 17:14)
  • “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” (James 1:27)
  • Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.” (1 John 2:15)

Siddhartha Gautama Buddha disillusioned by the hollowness and spiritual emptiness found within the safety and splendor of his royal kingdom sought to find the cause for suffering.  Siddhartha Gautama though that by joining with other ascetics or renouncers he would become closer to God or rather receives answers to questions that were troubling his mind. The only accomplishment from this course in life was continually being hungry and thirsty and mostly trying to outdo your fellow ascetics.  The only revelation able to come through this holiness competition was the sin of pride.

Such harsh methods focus only on what and individual is missing, not getting any closer to God but in total concentration of the absence of comfort or pleasure.  The more we try to mortify the flesh the more we see we cannot transcend the body while existing in this earthly realm.  Deprivation as practiced by some ascetics or mystics and prophets is not necessarily the best spiritual path for the average seeker.  Some austerity is necessary so that we are not consumed by the material world but to isolate and deny our very human bodies the daily necessities can open the door wider to a sense of failure or discouragement.  We must try to find balance in our lives.  At one end is the ascetic, at the other end the hedonist/sensualist.  Most of us flow best in the middle ground with occasional visits to the polar ends.  Separated from our source we yearn to return.

As prophets and/or enlightened beings both the Buddha and Jesus had similar universal themes of overcoming temptation, a wilderness experience with the tempter, both mystics emerged triumphant.  Realization that the Kingdom of God is within us enabled these two very different men, who lived in different time periods, from different cultures, in different parts of the world to have similar spiritual revelations which now have millions of adherents worldwide.

Bliss or self-actualization comes with accepting our interconnectedness with the world, yet not being of the world.  Subconsciously we are all craving with a burning desire to become one with the Beloved.  This craving may lead us down several spiritual and secular pathways during our lifetimes before we achieve our own individual enlightenment.  As a Christian I take refuge in the scriptural jewels offered to me within the Biblical scriptures, yet not discounting other belief systems or spiritual pathways.  As I explore many different faiths side by side with my own I find more similarities than differences.  Like my Buddhist sisters and brothers I find sanctuary in the Love of God, the teachings of Jesus, and various pastors, evangelists, or teachers who have a more extensive knowledge of the Bible than me, who can help me increase my understanding of scripture.  With that said as believers in any denomination we must study the scriptures for ourselves rightly dividing the word of truth so we are not carried away with doctrines of false prophets.  Beware those who misuse and misconstrue God’s Divine Word for their own personal profit and gain.

I can truly say the Bible speaks to me.  What does your holy scriptures say to you?  Like many of the faithful I find comfort in rites, rituals, ceremonies and sacraments of my church.  It’s familiar.  It’s comforting.  If suddenly I attended church one Sunday and everything was out of sequence I would definitely be uncomfortable, wonder what was going on and if I was in the right church.  However too much restrictive structure and adherence to doctrine and dogma can inhibit the spiritual growth of the congregation for this reason many people turn to secular and social organizations that offer morals, values and intellectual growth without the mythology.  Churches, social organizations and clubs also satisfy the need for companionship and fellowship.  As human beings we need to belong to a body of people with similar interests, goals and desires.  We desire a place to fit in and be accepted for who we are as individuals.  Churches, social organizations, clubs, guilds and professional organizations offer a type of safe space or sanctuary where we receive positive reinforcement that enables us to cope with the not so positive chapters in our lives.

Traveling other Wisdom Pathways

Recently I attended Hindu church service for followers of Sri Sathya Sai Baba at the Manhattan Center located at 30 East 31st Street in New York City. At first I was hesitant when my girlfriend asked me to accompany her to her service because those old voices of narrow mindedness assailed me causing doubt to creep into my mind as to whether it would be the right thing to do. Also I wondered if it would just be other Indian people and I would be the outsider. Not so, on both accounts. Initially I had only intended to stay five or ten minutes but I was drawn in by the praise and worship music and the words of the guest speaker who had journeyed all the way from India to share wisdom as given by the late Sai Baba. After his presentation there was a ritual very similar to communion in which I shared. I was very glad to have attended this service and look forward to worshipping again with the congregation. My girlfriend did her best to explain what was going on and to share literature with me. As we walked to Penn Station together discussing religion in general and the things of God in particular I felt a peace, calm, and centeredness that I had not felt in a long time.

It is far removed from my Baptist upbringing and Bible teachings but at the same time there are many similarities between Sri Sathya Sai Baba and the teachings of Jesus. After the service my girlfriend presented me with two of the roses that had lain upon the altar, which I duly took home and placed into a vase with water. Several hours later it struck me that one of the redemptive names of Jesus is the “Rose of Sharon”. Wow! My mind immediately went to “The Song of Solomon” the Bible’s romance book. The Song of Solomon explicitly expresses the desire between two lovers but on a deeper level the love of Jesus for his bride, the church.

Hindu, Buddhist, Hebrew, Christian, Sufi Muslim all have their mystical sages who are calling us closer to God. Are you listening?

God is sending other Angels with voices who invite thought amongst the congregation.  Come Let us Reason Together.  No matter how many hungry people fed, naked clothed or lessons trained still our only desire is to become one united with the Beloved.

Beloved Transcended

Divine fragrant Lotus Rose petals fell upon the body of the ascended one and the veil was rent from top to bottom.  We his followers make pilgrimage to the Holy City in remembrance of Him.

Excerpt from the poem “One Whisper of the Beloved” by Rumi

In truth, everyone is a shadow of the Beloved –
Our seeking is His seeking,
Our words are His words.

At times we flow toward the Beloved
like a dancing stream.
At times we are still water
held in His pitcher.
At times we boil in a pot
turning to vapor –
that is the job of the Beloved.

He breathes into my ear
until my soul
takes on His fragrance.
He is the soul of my soul –
How can I escape?
But why would any soul in this world
want to escape from the Beloved?

Donations can also be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. Thank you for supporting the ministry and God Bless.

Solitude ~ The Beauty of Silence

28 Jul

Solitude ~ The Beauty of Silence

Meditation

Deva Premal | Password [2011] – Mangalam 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4jx3sukfLM&feature=share&list=PL6C33307FF49553D1

So many of us are afraid of being alone. We seem to dread our own company seeking instead to dissolve ourselves in a sea of noise from the various technologies in our homes. We’ve lost the appreciation of peace and quiet. The solace found in a good book or quiet contemplative music. Always we seem to be on the run even inside our own homes. Perhaps we are really running from ourselves.

Beethoven ~ Silencio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39DNaNAMKAU&feature=colike

I often visualize myself beside a mountain stream that runs alongside my cabin hideaway, seated along the rocky shore coast near a lighthouse watching the waves crash into the shoreline, just sitting contemplating nature, God’s beautiful creation. I find even within the busyness of New York I find myself, my peace, my tranquility in the early morning hours right as dawn is breaking beyond the horizon when all is still as Apollo’s chariot rides across the landscape.

As a young girl I grew to appreciate silence and it’s sister quiet from my Mom Mable Palmer. Whenever there was a thunderstorm with it’s accompanying lightening Mommy turned off all the lights, the TV, radio, did not allow us to talk on the phone or get near the windows. More or less my brother Stephen and I were sitting in the dark secretly wishing the rainstorm over so we could turn our television back on! My mother’s explanation for this retreat was “God is working.”  I did not appreciate this homespun wisdom until I was much older then I began to see God’s call for us to stop whatever we were doing and witness His power in Nature.

Claude Debussy – Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun

http://youtu.be/9_7loz-HWUM

The Organ Rehearsal Henry Lerolle  (French, Paris 1848–1929 Paris)

The Organ Rehearsal
Henry Lerolle (French, Paris 1848–1929 Paris)

A wise friend posted this as part of her blog message: “the philosopher Soren Kierkegaard and his idea of busyness: that state of constant distraction that allows people to avoid difficult realities and maintain self-deceptions.” I believe like my colleague that we are distracted, engulfed and barraged by man made technologies. I think technology has become our Master and the sense of peace from Solitude found within Nature, a good book, or just silent meditation in the early morning is becoming ever more lost in our fast paced society. My ideal vacation would be near water, maybe a Lighthouse, the beach curled up with a good old fashioned book.

Antonio Vivaldi – The Four Seasons (Full)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbpAFzyrx5o&feature=colike

Far from the maddening crowd, the raucous noise and loud talk, the vacuous never-ending din coming from radios, TVs, computers, Boom boxes, CDs, DVDs, and other devices that only add to the endless conversations already going on inside our heads.

Solitude is my sanctuary, my peace, my tranquility. A great story transports me to another world sometimes centuries in the past, yet filled with characters so real, expressing all the human foibles that make us know that human nature never changes.

I along with my colleagues believe that we are being absorbed by our self-created technologies. Without sounding too Trekkie we have become assimilated into the Borg collective because there was no resistance to begin with. Or is our future found in the movie classic Metropolis where our saviour is a machine as opposed to flesh and blood women and men ministering to the community. Our society has become very apathetic and indolent drinking the Kool-Aid and believing the hype that we must have every last techie gadget affixed to nearly every orifice on our bodies. We so plugged in and absorbed by our own genius, power and authority that we’ve lost the ability to connect on a person to person level. Perhaps soon like in the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey we will answered to H.A.L. Actually maybe many of us already have…. Bombarded by media talking heads aka retro Max Headroom Coke commercial about who we should be, drink, eat, wear instead of appreciating who we really are.

As for me I search for the still small voice of the Beloved’s embrace. I see the face of God not only in nature but in the magnificence of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the mosaic ceiling located in the Islamic Wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Hebrew song of praise glorifying God from a Jewish brother as I made my way up the subway escalator. I am as the hart in Psalm 42 who seeks out God’s presence within all peoples and all cultures.

Psalm 42

King James Version (KJV)

42 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?

When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.

Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.

Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?

11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Moorish Islamic Ceiling

This small picture does not capture the full glory of the Moorish Islamic Ceiling located in the Islamic Wing of the Met. You really have to see it in person to appreciate the enormous grandeur and intricacies’ of this entrancing artwork.

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com

Honesty and Truthfulness in Relationships

6 Jul

Honesty and Truthfulness in Relationships

Honesty and Truthfulness in our relationships are paramount. Without either the relationship is doomed from the start. But first we must be honest and truthful with ourselves as to why we are involved with a particular person, like Shakespeare said to thine own self be true. What qualities should we look for in a mate? The Bible answers those questions through both positive and negative examples of men and women in the Holy Scriptures. Women typically seek a provider, protector and guardian. Even in modern times when women have advanced degrees and stellar career options we still look for that man who is symbolic of strength and leadership. After examination of the romantic lives of David and Solomon we can conclude they were great leaders in terms of the nation of Israel but not so much in their personal lives. As for Jacob, Rachael, and Leah that’s a love triangle more convoluted and complex than anything on TV, in the movies, or the soap opera people we personally know in our every day lives.

The Three Graces: Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia

The Three Graces: Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia

Women might have a clear idea of what qualities they expect and look for in a man but sometimes overlook certain character flaws that a fatal to a loving marital relationship. Ladies often mistake a man’s successful career, loaded bank account, and fancy cars, expensive clothes with that man’s ability or willingness to be an equal partner in a relationship. Like my mother and father used to say, everything that glitters is not gold.

Love can be corrupted by power, authority, and clout. Many men who have risen to the exalted positions in life feel the need to be in control of every aspect of their lives including the women in them.  Women must first seek out their spiritual and intellectual equals who is willing to work together in partnership to achieve agreed upon life goals. Ladies you might find that rich, wealthy man who is swimming in money yet wind up as a bird in a gilded cage yearning to be free, but tied to a lifestyle you don’t want to give up.

Men should and must seek out the Proverbs 31 woman. Gentlemen any woman can look good on the surface but look closely at the total package. Who and what are you getting for your investment? Folks ask yourself would you bring this person around your personal and church family and friends. Do they have specific goals in life other than to latch onto you like a leech? Keep in mind ladies and gentlemen no matter what age or stage you are in life you are looking for a life time companion. Friends first then Lovers later.

Now let’s look at what the lyrics of some of our favorite romance songs say about relationships. I choose these three because they exemplify the changes we often go through before we are united with the person who God means for us to spend our lives with.

What We All Look for in a Relationship

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don’t want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.

~ Billy Joel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWu0N0qPeME&feature=colike

 

How it was in my former relationship 6 years ago

‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me

~ Bonnie Raitt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_SIfLzccbc&feature=colike

Who My Blessing from God is to me. He is that Man

He is the mind objector, the heart protector
The soul defender of anything I fear
The baby conceiver, the make me believer
The joy bringer, the love giver

He is the dough increaser, the pleasure releaser
The hard knocks knower without the scars to show ya
The night school teacher, the good life preacher
The caretaker, the kiss craver

{he is so {he is, so {he is
Everything, everything I want and I want it
{he is so {he is, so {he is
And so much more than I thought it could be
{so right so right {so right girls, i
I gotta be the same for him {i gotta be the same for him
For my baby
Oh…oh…yes, he is, oh, oh
I know exactly what he is

~ Heather Headley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chhZGflZi5E&feature=colike

 Donations to this ministry can be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. Thank you and God Bless.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

21 May

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is thy Faithfulness – Israel Houghton and New Breed

Stairway to Heaven

Stairway to Heaven

Mother C. aka “Rochdale Village Hat Lady” is a living testimony at 91 years young. She’s always in a good mood, happy go lucky and is a Blessing to be around. Always immaculately made up and always with a gorgeous hat!  I want to be like her when I get to be 91.

Mother C. is known for the variety and beauty of hats she wears every day. The hats could be art work by themselves but Mother C. lends them a grace and dignity that only someone who has led a life dedicated to the Lord can give.

Now I’ve been living in Rochdale Village for over 20 years and of course we’ve spoken over the years but today God must have led Mother C. to sit next to me to share her testimony.  She also has these really wonderful little humorous stories that made me laugh and revealed to me that women can still be vibrant and joyful in your 90s.

I told her about Ivan’s Mom and how sad we both felt. She just gave her simple testimony and I felt a burden lifted from me.  Mother C. related how God brought her through the death of her husband and her daughter. She called on the Lord and He gave her peace in the midst of the storm. She looks back on the good times and good memories she had with her loved ones who passed away. Mother C. lives her calling of being an encouragement to those experiencing trials and tribulations. She is not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ or of its power of deliverance and healing. By relying on God she became a testimony before her congregation during a time when most people just completely break down. She also said she would pray for Ivan.

Every word Mother C spoke was a confirmation of the message preached by Min. Tracy Ward at the 11:00am service at New Jerusalem Baptist Church. God really does work in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. The Lord will give us signs that it is well with the souls of our loved ones who have transitioned.

God will always send the right person to you when you need encouragement or your faith needs to be reinforced. Thank you Lord!

The true strength of any relationship lies not in the good times but by weathering the bad times together.

O’Jays — Stairway to Heaven

http://youtu.be/erZmWwDKwrU

Donations to this thought provoking ministry can be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless.

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