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Honesty and Truthfulness in Relationships

6 Jul

Honesty and Truthfulness in Relationships

Honesty and Truthfulness in our relationships are paramount. Without either the relationship is doomed from the start. But first we must be honest and truthful with ourselves as to why we are involved with a particular person, like Shakespeare said to thine own self be true. What qualities should we look for in a mate? The Bible answers those questions through both positive and negative examples of men and women in the Holy Scriptures. Women typically seek a provider, protector and guardian. Even in modern times when women have advanced degrees and stellar career options we still look for that man who is symbolic of strength and leadership. After examination of the romantic lives of David and Solomon we can conclude they were great leaders in terms of the nation of Israel but not so much in their personal lives. As for Jacob, Rachael, and Leah that’s a love triangle more convoluted and complex than anything on TV, in the movies, or the soap opera people we personally know in our every day lives.

The Three Graces: Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia

The Three Graces: Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia

Women might have a clear idea of what qualities they expect and look for in a man but sometimes overlook certain character flaws that a fatal to a loving marital relationship. Ladies often mistake a man’s successful career, loaded bank account, and fancy cars, expensive clothes with that man’s ability or willingness to be an equal partner in a relationship. Like my mother and father used to say, everything that glitters is not gold.

Love can be corrupted by power, authority, and clout. Many men who have risen to the exalted positions in life feel the need to be in control of every aspect of their lives including the women in them.  Women must first seek out their spiritual and intellectual equals who is willing to work together in partnership to achieve agreed upon life goals. Ladies you might find that rich, wealthy man who is swimming in money yet wind up as a bird in a gilded cage yearning to be free, but tied to a lifestyle you don’t want to give up.

Men should and must seek out the Proverbs 31 woman. Gentlemen any woman can look good on the surface but look closely at the total package. Who and what are you getting for your investment? Folks ask yourself would you bring this person around your personal and church family and friends. Do they have specific goals in life other than to latch onto you like a leech? Keep in mind ladies and gentlemen no matter what age or stage you are in life you are looking for a life time companion. Friends first then Lovers later.

Now let’s look at what the lyrics of some of our favorite romance songs say about relationships. I choose these three because they exemplify the changes we often go through before we are united with the person who God means for us to spend our lives with.

What We All Look for in a Relationship

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don’t want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.

~ Billy Joel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWu0N0qPeME&feature=colike

 

How it was in my former relationship 6 years ago

‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t

I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me

~ Bonnie Raitt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_SIfLzccbc&feature=colike

Who My Blessing from God is to me. He is that Man

He is the mind objector, the heart protector
The soul defender of anything I fear
The baby conceiver, the make me believer
The joy bringer, the love giver

He is the dough increaser, the pleasure releaser
The hard knocks knower without the scars to show ya
The night school teacher, the good life preacher
The caretaker, the kiss craver

{he is so {he is, so {he is
Everything, everything I want and I want it
{he is so {he is, so {he is
And so much more than I thought it could be
{so right so right {so right girls, i
I gotta be the same for him {i gotta be the same for him
For my baby
Oh…oh…yes, he is, oh, oh
I know exactly what he is

~ Heather Headley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chhZGflZi5E&feature=colike

 Donations to this ministry can be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. Thank you and God Bless.

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Holmesian Psychology Behind the Rabbit Hole

30 Mar

Holmesian Psychology Behind the Rabbit Hole

Mental Orgasms

Alice Down the Rabbit Hole

Alice Down the Rabbit Hole

Matrix – The Red pill/Blue pill

http://youtu.be/te6qG4yn-Ps

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arcJksDgCOU&feature=colike

Addiction – some habit usually unhealthy that takes over your life, an activity over which you have no control.  For those lost in the throes of prescription addiction there is no escape from the horrors of the mind except via medications freely doled out by more than willing physicians and pharmacists. Drug induced hallucinations for those possessed by insecurities, depression, psychosis and various types of mental illness open previously closed doors in the mind.  The addict seeking to escape earthly pain often unwisely even unknowingly opens portals to new cerebral dimensions, portals that eventually lead to the gateway to Hades.

I find myself walking through Bedlam calmly and quietly observing the poor wretches imprisoned within the only separation of safety between me and they glass with reinforced steel bars.  Until I come to a long hallway on either side a series of rooms each secured with double bolt thick steel doors the only openings a slot in which to slide a plastic meal tray and a small window used by roaming psychotherapists who occasionally looked in upon the inmates deciding which mental miracle drug to dispense to these unsuspecting unfortunates.  Compelled to stop in front of one particular door I peer through the small grimy window only to be shocked yet not too surprised to find my gaze met by my doppelganger.  There I stand frozen to the spot my extremities taking root and branching out seeking crevices with which to penetrate the unyielding door that separates me from myself.

Jesus explained the dilemma of mind altering drugs the best in Luke 11:24-26

New International Version (NIV)

   24 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”

Sherlock Holmes is one of the most celebrated fictional drug addicts known to most Americans. As played by the late Jeremy Brett, Brett’s Holmes captures the true brilliance of a man possessed by a troubled mind. He is the quintessential eccentric elitist, misanthrope and misogynist. In between cases Holmes uses cocaine to escape from the commonplaces of existence. Subject to long bouts of depression his drugs of choice morphine and cocaine, hence the 7% solution in his reasoning clarified and stimulated the mind. Often this is the case with talented, gifted genius level individuals. They abhor boredom and stagnation; craving constant mental exultation whether through industry, work, artistic, musical or literary projects. When the normal stimulants’ of challenging work are unavailable the well respected and recognized addict resorts to any number of remedies to recreate and/or achieve the same high gotten from recreational pursuits.

Holmes is the atypical functional drug addict. This is not to glorify or elevate prescription drug use above the use of common street drugs; the results from both are about the same. Both types of addicts experience dependence, cravings, reliance, and slavery to substances that destroy mind, body and spirit, eventually leading to death.

Like many possessed of a tortured brilliance only known by members of the “Talented Tenth” Holmes is an insecure elitist. The luster and sparkle of genius seeks to be delivered from the mundane, the trivial and from the insecurities that threaten to destroy a superior intellect.  The trick is to elevate and expand the thought processes and at the same time hoping to eliminate present daily realities of pain and suffering.

Drug addiction is a false cure, a fake hope, phony sanctuary, ever failing to grant rest or repose to its seekers. If the Sherlock Holmes character was updated to these modern times his drug of choice might be Ambien the sleep aid that bridges the gap between conscious and subconscious mind.

Ambien transports ones soul to that place between wakefulness and sleep. It appears to enhance ones innate natural creative abilities.  Users of cocaine and speed often make the same claims. These drugs both legal and illegal offer a false escape from the mundane.  Substance abusers even leave the natural human sexual relationships in order to experience the multiple mental orgasms they cannot achieve through physical sex with a partner. Reality becomes the bad dream. The user finds her/himself caught up in an almost inescapable quagmire.

In one episode Holmes states that, “There’s no escape from the terrors of the mind.”  Many times I secretly wished that life was like Etch A Sketch, that famously popular toy we children of the 60s played with for hours on end. If only life were like that little plastic Neanderthal laptop where with a few vigorous shakes you once again had a clean slate and the ability to start over.

It was a secret desire born out of stress, depression, and hard times to return to a time of innocence and being care free.  However I realized that there was no turning back the clock.  I had to face my inner demons.  I had to ask myself did I want to live the rest of my life in the Twilight Zone when everyone around me constantly telling me I have a gift, a gift that needs to be shared with the world. Also what about my family? What about my beloved autistic brother?  Where would he be if I suddenly was not on the planet anymore?  In addition how could I ignore the calling I knew God had on my life?  The answer is I couldn’t.  Never at any time did God give up on me.  That in and of itself amazed me.  God kept sending people my way to set me back on the path of life.  Even when I wanted to let go of this earthly life and move onto another plane, God said not yet.  I’m not ready for you yet.  You have more work to do on this earth.

No God did not immediately take away all the problems and challenges I’ve been experiencing but He did reveal to me better ways to cope.  Through my gift of writing He has opened doors for me that never would have opened had I allowed myself to sink into the substance abuse quicksand.  Of course there will continue to be bumps and potholes along the roadway but isn’t life somewhat like an obstacle course where the prize for those of us who esteem intellect the ability to successfully negotiate those obstructions by being quick thinkers and thrill in the victory of being an Overcomer?  Enjoy the Treasure Hunt!  Enjoy the excitement of the chase while in your right mind because you’ve been given everything that pertains to life and godliness and you are Empowered to Succeed!

Donations and Love Offerings can be sent via money order or bank checks made payable to Deborah A. Palmer. Donations can also be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless.


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