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Learning to Encourage Myself

18 Apr

How to Encourage Yourself

Donald Lawrence & The Tri-City Singers

http://youtu.be/JbEaftzaFWA

Black Unicorn Rainbow

Black Unicorn moving towards the Rainbow

Extreme anger, panic attacks, uncontrollable crying and/or apathetic/zombie like fluctuations are defense mechanisms produced by our damaged psyches to protect ourselves emotionally. Just after I separated from my abuser in 2007 I went through a gamut of emotions. I was extremely high strung, angry and would lash out sometimes at total strangers. Now I do realize that a lot of that was a form of PTSD, stress and hormones since I had started to go through the Change of Life. Many times I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. Other than my estrogen going wild I believe the basis of my negative emotions was fear. Fear causes the fight or flight response and unfortunately I often got angry at the wrong people. However once I stood up to my inner demons and toxic family/co-worker bullies I began to feel better. I realized I had options. I did not have to feel this way. Another therapy for me was and is writing.

I wrote about all my emotions; the good, the bad and the ugly. There were times when I wanted to kill myself. I wrote an entire heart wrenching story on all the evil locked up inside my head. Words gave that insanity somewhere to go so it would not destroy me. I became stronger. Then this year more healing came, peace came through being a part of V-Day/1 Billion Women Rising and through joining groups that focus on domestic violence and sexual assault. Then I saw that my trials and tribulations were not in vain and not for my destruction but for the upliftment of not only me but all women who are going through and have gone through this horrible experience. I’m here to encourage and support. We Lean on and draw strength from each other. We Find Sanctuary among and within our tribe.  Love is a Helping Hand and a listening ear.

Bill Withers — Lean On Me

http://youtu.be/QPoTGyWT0Cg

Sometimes I still have panic attacks but they do not last as long nor are they as powerful or as strong as before because I’m able to defuse them. I tell myself that this fear I feel at the moment is only that, a temporary moment in time. I’m made of survivor and victory stock. Some of my ancestors settled the Americas, most came from Africa, and survived the middle passage, slavery, Jim Crow and all other types of bullshit. My ancestors lift me up above the fray. Then my genetic memory recalls that I am descended from the Queens of Mother Africa. I carry within me the DNA of women who sat on the thrones of Egypt, Ethiopia & Mozambique. They reigned and I reign. I’m stronger than my flaws, weakness and shortcomings. I’m an Overcomer. I’m stronger and more powerful than the words of deceit, anger and hate my ex- the abuser tried to sow into my soul. I will no longer allow his words of defeat to take root within my mind. Now I listen to, absorb and plant the words of my maternal ancestors within my soul, my psyche and my spirit. Courage, Boldness and Determination grows and manifests itself to and for my SisterFriends!

Judith Beheading Holofernes

Judith with the Head of Holofernes

Not perfect but able to move through the pain. I do not deny the pain but I refuse to give pain, sorrow, sadness or depression any authority in my life. I walk in my authority as a Victor not a victim.  I will not allow my life to spiral out of control. I don’t have to live in defeat. I have choices. I have options. Living my life like it’s Golden!

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. Thank you and God Bless

Anger and The 3 Ts — Trials, Troubles & Tribulations

16 Sep
Ten Lepers

Ten Lepers were healed, one only one return to give Thanks.

 

ANGER

USUALLY FROWNED UPON AND COUNTED AS ONE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS DOES IN SPITE OF its BAD RAP SERVE A PROTECTIVE PURPOSE. People who don’t get angry on the outside are really boiling mad inside which cause depression which in turn brings on diseases like migraines, high blood pressure, diabetes, and the like.

ANGER

Turned against innocent outsiders’ results in long term incarcerations among the perpetrators, bad relationships with family and friends and sometimes when an argument escalates beyond control the combatants may find themselves being taken to the hospital or to prison.

ANGER

Used to get to the root of a problem separating disparate elements can have positive outcomes if the therapist or interventionists can get the troubled self-destructing members to reach an understanding that continued bad choices will produce the same self-defeating results.

Challenges in the form of Trials, troubles and tribulations bring out the strength that is already in you. No outside force or power can help you if you don’t first help yourself. Once you make the determination within your heart everything else will fall into place. It’s like the character of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz. He sought what was within him all the time. All he had to do was face his fears even while being afraid. Once he realized that the Wizard was a charlatan he knew that the power resided in him all along. God is always with us and he never leaves us, sending His angels to smooth the pathway but allowing us to discover the power that lies within all of us. Rise up and take your place as a Rightful Citizen of Planet Earth!  We are the only hands God has on this earth to stop violence against women, girls or even pets. Make your house or home a sanctuary for one who has fallen off the straight path. Let’s create a friendly island of peace for our girl children. A Place of no judgement where they can be free to be themselves without shame, scorn or rebuke.

Jesus our Way Shower taught us how to be strong and that there is no shame in asking for help if you need it. Jesus gives many examples and situations which cause our strength to rise up within us. We are called to civil disobedience and to right wrongs within our community.

In Matthew 21:12-13 Jesus threw the money changers and sellers out of the temple.

 Matthew 21:12-13

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus at the Temple

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[a] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.

Matthew 21:12-13

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus at the Temple

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’”

Jesus Calls Herod a Sly Fox

At that time some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.” He replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will drive out demons and heal people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.’” (Luke 13:31-32)
____________________________________________________________

Jesus calling Herod a fox catches us a little off guard here. Did Jesus really call people names? Yes, when appropriate. He did not do it to hurt people’s feelings or out of childish anger or to be unkind. But Jesus called a spade a spade.

What did he mean by calling Herod a fox? A fox is a small, weak, wily animal that lives by cunning rather than strength. Jesus was drawing attention to Herod’s crafty, treacherous side. Herod was not a man worthy of trust or respect. He divorced his wife to marry his own niece, who happened to be his own brother’s wife. He beheaded John the Baptist because of a foolish promise made at a birthday party. He was a man of weak character who used his political power for selfish ends.

Now, we need to be careful here. As Christians we are called to love, forgive, forbear and be courteous to others. We should not go around calling people names as a general rule. Jesus rarely did. But there are times when we also must call a spade a spade. Sometimes a thief needs to be called a thief; the unfaithful spouse must be called an adulterer; the pornographer needs to be called perverted. There are times when evil must be confronted and named. There are times when Herod must be called a fox. Originally Posted by Ray Folwer

Jesus and the Woman taken in Adultery

John 8:1-11

New International Version (NIV)

but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

A new ministry for girls called Jephthah’s Daughters has been birthed. Please send donations and contributions to help young girls between the ages of 4 to 17 in need via PayPal to deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. The young ladies will receive care packages and counseling. Rest assured that you are supporting a good cause that will lift up young women who have been abandoned and neglected by their birth families.  Thank you.

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com

Solitude ~ The Beauty of Silence

28 Jul

Solitude ~ The Beauty of Silence

Meditation

Deva Premal | Password [2011] – Mangalam 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4jx3sukfLM&feature=share&list=PL6C33307FF49553D1

So many of us are afraid of being alone. We seem to dread our own company seeking instead to dissolve ourselves in a sea of noise from the various technologies in our homes. We’ve lost the appreciation of peace and quiet. The solace found in a good book or quiet contemplative music. Always we seem to be on the run even inside our own homes. Perhaps we are really running from ourselves.

Beethoven ~ Silencio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39DNaNAMKAU&feature=colike

I often visualize myself beside a mountain stream that runs alongside my cabin hideaway, seated along the rocky shore coast near a lighthouse watching the waves crash into the shoreline, just sitting contemplating nature, God’s beautiful creation. I find even within the busyness of New York I find myself, my peace, my tranquility in the early morning hours right as dawn is breaking beyond the horizon when all is still as Apollo’s chariot rides across the landscape.

As a young girl I grew to appreciate silence and it’s sister quiet from my Mom Mable Palmer. Whenever there was a thunderstorm with it’s accompanying lightening Mommy turned off all the lights, the TV, radio, did not allow us to talk on the phone or get near the windows. More or less my brother Stephen and I were sitting in the dark secretly wishing the rainstorm over so we could turn our television back on! My mother’s explanation for this retreat was “God is working.”  I did not appreciate this homespun wisdom until I was much older then I began to see God’s call for us to stop whatever we were doing and witness His power in Nature.

Claude Debussy – Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun

http://youtu.be/9_7loz-HWUM

The Organ Rehearsal Henry Lerolle  (French, Paris 1848–1929 Paris)

The Organ Rehearsal
Henry Lerolle (French, Paris 1848–1929 Paris)

A wise friend posted this as part of her blog message: “the philosopher Soren Kierkegaard and his idea of busyness: that state of constant distraction that allows people to avoid difficult realities and maintain self-deceptions.” I believe like my colleague that we are distracted, engulfed and barraged by man made technologies. I think technology has become our Master and the sense of peace from Solitude found within Nature, a good book, or just silent meditation in the early morning is becoming ever more lost in our fast paced society. My ideal vacation would be near water, maybe a Lighthouse, the beach curled up with a good old fashioned book.

Antonio Vivaldi – The Four Seasons (Full)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbpAFzyrx5o&feature=colike

Far from the maddening crowd, the raucous noise and loud talk, the vacuous never-ending din coming from radios, TVs, computers, Boom boxes, CDs, DVDs, and other devices that only add to the endless conversations already going on inside our heads.

Solitude is my sanctuary, my peace, my tranquility. A great story transports me to another world sometimes centuries in the past, yet filled with characters so real, expressing all the human foibles that make us know that human nature never changes.

I along with my colleagues believe that we are being absorbed by our self-created technologies. Without sounding too Trekkie we have become assimilated into the Borg collective because there was no resistance to begin with. Or is our future found in the movie classic Metropolis where our saviour is a machine as opposed to flesh and blood women and men ministering to the community. Our society has become very apathetic and indolent drinking the Kool-Aid and believing the hype that we must have every last techie gadget affixed to nearly every orifice on our bodies. We so plugged in and absorbed by our own genius, power and authority that we’ve lost the ability to connect on a person to person level. Perhaps soon like in the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey we will answered to H.A.L. Actually maybe many of us already have…. Bombarded by media talking heads aka retro Max Headroom Coke commercial about who we should be, drink, eat, wear instead of appreciating who we really are.

As for me I search for the still small voice of the Beloved’s embrace. I see the face of God not only in nature but in the magnificence of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the mosaic ceiling located in the Islamic Wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Hebrew song of praise glorifying God from a Jewish brother as I made my way up the subway escalator. I am as the hart in Psalm 42 who seeks out God’s presence within all peoples and all cultures.

Psalm 42

King James Version (KJV)

42 As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?

When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.

Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.

Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?

11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Moorish Islamic Ceiling

This small picture does not capture the full glory of the Moorish Islamic Ceiling located in the Islamic Wing of the Met. You really have to see it in person to appreciate the enormous grandeur and intricacies’ of this entrancing artwork.

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com

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