Tag Archives: reality

Prophetic Calling ~ Higher Ground

4 Aug

Prophetic Calling- Higher Ground

Knew that I was in the right place from the moment I walked through the door. Experiencing regeneration and renewal.

Higher Ground – Stevie Wonder (1973)

I have stepped into my Destiny. I did not choose the path, the Path chose me. The Ancestors knew what I needed and sent me the gifts of the spirit. As I wrote about in a previous post (Genetic Memory) my ancestors have begun to visit me with greater frequency.

As a child I was more open to the spirit world and I can recall from ages three to six I had many visitations from alternate universes. At age four I was looking at a baby photograph of myself and my brother on the living room wall and being able to go back to my origin or source and return at will. Around age five bedtimes became of time of numerous visitations but by then these creatures or creations began to frighten me. I did my best to will them away since it wasn’t something I could tell my parents.

Still the spirits attempted to get through some of them not so good. During my twenties I had some horrible nightmares of not being able to breathe or demons trying to choke or strangle me, but that may have been the result of too much fire and brimstone sermons. I was always impressionable and unbeknownst to some preachers sensitive spirits in their congregations pick up on the fear and punishment side of Christianity opening up a portal to hell as opposed to salvation and redemption. Now with my explorations of the Gospel of Inclusion (Bishop Carlton Pearson) Buddhism and discovering I’m a Clairsentient I’m learning better mind control and discerning the whys, wheres, and whats of my ancestors wishes.

DeBorah ~ MMC 2002 Grad

DeBorah ~ Marymount Manhattan College 2002 Graduation

Shinnyo-en Buddhism

Knew that I was in the right place from the moment I walked through the door. Experiencing regeneration, restoration and renewal.

I have stepped into my Destiny. I did not choose the path, the Path chose me. The Ancestors knew what I needed and sent me the gifts of the spirit. Clarity of Vision. Opening my spirit to distant Galaxies.

One of the guided meditation teachers spoke a word of knowledge over me that could have only come from God. Another step along the path of purification. This is the beginning of understanding the many spiritual events in my life. I have not left Christianity but I believe I was led to this type of Buddhist thought and teachings as a compliment to my Christian faith.  Shinnyo-en has fed my mind, spirit and soul.

Psalm 42

New International Version (NIV)

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,

    so my soul pants for you, my God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
3 My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

6 My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

8 By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

In fact many Bible verses and the words of Jesus come to me more frequently and with increased clarity!  I must study to show myself approved and to grasp the teachings. Realizing now that both mind and body must be purified and the ability to focus must be cultivated. So far have been to two Guided Meditations and the effects are Amazing! I’m calmer in mind, spirit, soul & body and am better able to handle difficult situations. Remember me as the one who woke up.  As my Japanese girlfriend who introduced me to Shinnyo-en practice You will find Yourself.

Shinnyo-en

enjoy-engage-enlighten

Shinnyo Meditation Center

19 West 36th Street,

New York, NY 10018

www.shinnyo-ny.org

Not everyone will understand where you’re going in this life. The revelation for this time is only for you. They are not yet ready. John 13:34-36

King James Version (KJV)
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

36 Simon Peter said unto him, Lord, whither goest thou? Jesus answered him, Whither I go, thou canst not follow me now; but thou shalt follow me afterwards.

Galatians 5:22-23

New International Version (NIV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

1 Corinthians 12:7-11
The Message (MSG)
4-11 God’s various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God’s Spirit. God’s various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people! The variety is wonderful:

wise counsel
clear understanding
simple trust
healing the sick
miraculous acts
proclamation
distinguishing between spirits
tongues
interpretation of tongues.
All these gifts have a common origin, but are handed out one by one by the one Spirit of God. He decides who gets what, and when.

 Baptist Buddhist

In the very short time I’ve committed to following the Shinnyo path I began to realize how hungry I was. Even though I was born and raised in the Christian faith when I was introduced to Shinnyo-en Buddhism I was as one starving and thirsty suddenly finding herself seated at a banquet table filled with delicious food and drink. It has been a process for me to throw off the shackles and chains of dogma and doctrine and allow new thought to enter in. For years I tried to suppress the spirit world with anti-depressants and other prescription drugs. Now I’m free from the constraints of my religious straitjacket empowered to put my truths my faith into action.

My parents were never committed to any church. In fact though they both believed in God they never attended church. I was brought up as a Freethinker and was always driving my parents’ crazy asking questions. Of course like nearly every Black kid growing up in the 1960s church was pretty much a non-negotiable. Every child in the neighborhood went to church. Since my mother was raised Baptist that’s where I went. If for some reason I did not make it out to Sunday school you can bet the Sunday School teacher would be calling my parents asking why I was not in church.  As I grew older I was swept up in the Evangelical movements of the 80s & 90s.  Even with the growing schemes and scandals I held onto my beliefs even though I was living a lifestyle contrary to the Bible. Only in May 2010 when my beloved Aunt Helen passed away did I realize that I had only attended church to please other people and did not believed most of what was preached from the pulpit.

In the back of my mind were questions, confusion, shame & guilt. I was a walking, talking living dichotomy.   Then right before Christmas 2006 not only did my life hit the fan but was completely shredded. I lost my “good job”, was unemployed for a year, my common-law husband left me for a younger new and improved woman. Finally in 2008 I started a new job that paid a lot less but at least I was working and had benefits.

More changes 2009 I turned 50. Am I really a card carrying member of AARP? The Change of Life. For a woman turning 50 is traumatic in more ways than one not only do we have to cope with physical and hormonal changes, there are the changes in society’s perception of older women. Sure Black don’t crack but age or maturity don’t lie. I’ve had to come to terms with what to do for my next 50 years on the planet. I’ve realized my calling as a writer.  Life is a walk by faith and not by sight experience.

One of the best things about being in one’s 50s is not caring what others think but following the path meant for me.  I’m still a Buddhist newbie and I’m struggling with some of the terminology but now my soul is being fed and even the Biblical scriptures have taken on new meaning and devotion. This Baptist Buddhist is beginning to find peace within her soul.

Anger and The 3 Ts — Trials, Troubles & Tribulations

16 Sep
Ten Lepers

Ten Lepers were healed, one only one return to give Thanks.

 

ANGER

USUALLY FROWNED UPON AND COUNTED AS ONE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS DOES IN SPITE OF its BAD RAP SERVE A PROTECTIVE PURPOSE. People who don’t get angry on the outside are really boiling mad inside which cause depression which in turn brings on diseases like migraines, high blood pressure, diabetes, and the like.

ANGER

Turned against innocent outsiders’ results in long term incarcerations among the perpetrators, bad relationships with family and friends and sometimes when an argument escalates beyond control the combatants may find themselves being taken to the hospital or to prison.

ANGER

Used to get to the root of a problem separating disparate elements can have positive outcomes if the therapist or interventionists can get the troubled self-destructing members to reach an understanding that continued bad choices will produce the same self-defeating results.

Challenges in the form of Trials, troubles and tribulations bring out the strength that is already in you. No outside force or power can help you if you don’t first help yourself. Once you make the determination within your heart everything else will fall into place. It’s like the character of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz. He sought what was within him all the time. All he had to do was face his fears even while being afraid. Once he realized that the Wizard was a charlatan he knew that the power resided in him all along. God is always with us and he never leaves us, sending His angels to smooth the pathway but allowing us to discover the power that lies within all of us. Rise up and take your place as a Rightful Citizen of Planet Earth!  We are the only hands God has on this earth to stop violence against women, girls or even pets. Make your house or home a sanctuary for one who has fallen off the straight path. Let’s create a friendly island of peace for our girl children. A Place of no judgement where they can be free to be themselves without shame, scorn or rebuke.

Jesus our Way Shower taught us how to be strong and that there is no shame in asking for help if you need it. Jesus gives many examples and situations which cause our strength to rise up within us. We are called to civil disobedience and to right wrongs within our community.

In Matthew 21:12-13 Jesus threw the money changers and sellers out of the temple.

 Matthew 21:12-13

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus at the Temple

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[a] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.

Matthew 21:12-13

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus at the Temple

12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’”

Jesus Calls Herod a Sly Fox

At that time some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.” He replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will drive out demons and heal people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.’” (Luke 13:31-32)
____________________________________________________________

Jesus calling Herod a fox catches us a little off guard here. Did Jesus really call people names? Yes, when appropriate. He did not do it to hurt people’s feelings or out of childish anger or to be unkind. But Jesus called a spade a spade.

What did he mean by calling Herod a fox? A fox is a small, weak, wily animal that lives by cunning rather than strength. Jesus was drawing attention to Herod’s crafty, treacherous side. Herod was not a man worthy of trust or respect. He divorced his wife to marry his own niece, who happened to be his own brother’s wife. He beheaded John the Baptist because of a foolish promise made at a birthday party. He was a man of weak character who used his political power for selfish ends.

Now, we need to be careful here. As Christians we are called to love, forgive, forbear and be courteous to others. We should not go around calling people names as a general rule. Jesus rarely did. But there are times when we also must call a spade a spade. Sometimes a thief needs to be called a thief; the unfaithful spouse must be called an adulterer; the pornographer needs to be called perverted. There are times when evil must be confronted and named. There are times when Herod must be called a fox. Originally Posted by Ray Folwer

Jesus and the Woman taken in Adultery

John 8:1-11

New International Version (NIV)

but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

A new ministry for girls called Jephthah’s Daughters has been birthed. Please send donations and contributions to help young girls between the ages of 4 to 17 in need via PayPal to deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. The young ladies will receive care packages and counseling. Rest assured that you are supporting a good cause that will lift up young women who have been abandoned and neglected by their birth families.  Thank you.

Donations and Freewill offerings can be made directly to my PayPal account deborah.palmer280@gmail.com

Conquerors through Grief and Sorrow

17 Jun

Conquerors through Grief and Sorrow

“Funerals are for the living.” That’s what my father Edward G. Palmer used to tell me.

Ecclesiastes 9:5

New International Version (NIV)

For the living know that they will die,
but the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even their name is forgotten.

Prayers, incense, the pouring of libation, the lighting of candles, wakes, viewings, observation of anywhere between seven and forty days are just a few of the rituals associated with mourning the death of a loved one. The songs sung and the music played at the funeral, viewing or wakes are all designed for families, friends and loved ones of the deceased. Even side shows, videos, photo displays are arranged to present fond memories of the one or ones who have passed away. We remember a life well lived.  The deceased has gone from labor to reward.

When someone close to us passes away we not only celebrate their life but we are faced with our own mortality. Numerous questions arise “Am I living my life to the fullest?”  “What will be my legacy once I leave this earth?” “Will I ever realize my deepest heartfelt desires, wishes and goals in this life?” “How can I get to the place I want to be in the short time available to us?”

Black Unicorn Rainbow

Black Unicorn moving towards the Rainbow

Our Earthly Time Span Question

Many of us try to establish patterns in our lives all in an effort to make it seem like we have control over adverse circumstances. Sometimes this involves lying to ourselves and others hiding our true feelings because nobody likes a sour puss. We’ve been taught to operate with a stiff upper lip, think positive and remain stoic in the face of adversity. However the inner collapse has already happened. Try as we might to stifle the surging volcano of frustration and discouragement sooner or later the top will blow. If not directed towards someone else suppressed anger manifests itself externally through headaches, stomach aches, forgetfulness, and joint pain, physical and/or mental exhaustion.  Frustration without resolution leads to discouragement.  These symptoms of a greater problem cause our souls and spirits to die small deaths each day. The cause is suppressed anger. A mismatch of expectations between what we want and what actually is. Once burnt twice shy, we are hesitant in putting ourselves in a place of vulnerability. Adversity causes us to be reborn as skeptics, a legion of Doubting Thomases/Thomasinas hemmed in by emotional barbed wire. We are misfits out of context with our perceived natural environment. Destinies aborted.

Everyone is assigned a ministry in this life. That is that something special that we are specifically anointed to do that no one else can perform because the position is uniquely designed for us. Not necessarily a calling to the collar but a mission and a purpose especially designed for us. When we fail to operate in that office we feel a tugging, a pulling apart within our spirits until we function within our calling.

Walking Dichotomies

Some of us seek to exchange our current stifling identifies for one provides the realization of an unattainable lifestyle.  Perhaps this explains the popularity of Superheroes in our culture.  Most Superheroes start off as ordinary people who through some serendipitous and unforeseen circumstance, happening or even accident are transformed into beings that not only have powers that enhance their lives and the ability to positively affect the lives of those around them.  In reality these super powers often have unanticipated consequences that change the lives of these Superheroes both positively and negatively.

Or we live vicariously through our children. Their lives are just beginning ours are either in the middle or at the end. Children represent a fresh start whereas middle and old age often find us cynical and jaded worn down by the realities of daily living. Will the purity and innocence of the young redeem those seeking another chance to capture the brass ring? Highly unlikely. We can no more embody their hopes, dreams and goals anymore than they can ours. Let us not make the mistake of forcing our lost vocations cut off midstream upon the young people in our lives.

Often we spend our lives trying to be someone else or attempting to meet the expectations of family and society. We strive to become the “other” all the while failing to live in the here and now.

Life is like marriage. We take this life for better or for worse, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.  Like the Psalmist King David we feel that void of emptiness deep within our souls despite the outward appearance of privilege and comfort.

Psalm 42:5

New International Version (NIV)

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

 

But as our Biblical counterparts Ruth, Esther, Judith, DeBorah and Mary we press on through the challenges, the defeats, the sorrows and the pain to see God’s promise revealed and manifested to us and others. We may suffer defeat in battle but we have won the war. We stand as warriors bruised yet conquerors.

Donations can be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless.

Conquerors through Grief and Sorrow

7 Jun

Conquerors through Grief and Sorrow

“Funerals are for the living.” That’s what my father Edward G. Palmer used to tell me.

Ecclesiastes 9:5

New International Version (NIV)

For the living know that they will die,
but the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even their name is forgotten.

Prayers, incense, the pouring of libation, the lighting of candles, wakes, viewings, observation of anywhere between seven and forty days are just a few of the rituals associated with mourning the death of a loved one. The songs sung and the music played at the funeral, viewing or wakes are all designed for families, friends and loved ones of the deceased. Even side shows, videos, photo displays are arranged to present fond memories of the one or ones who have passed away. We remember a life well lived.  The deceased has gone from labor to reward.

When someone close to us passes away we not only celebrate their life but we are faced with our own mortality. Numerous questions arise “Am I living my life to the fullest?”  “What will be my legacy once I leave this earth?” “Will I ever realize my deepest heartfelt desires, wishes and goals in this life?” “How can I get to the place I want to be in the short time available to us?”

Black Unicorn Rainbow

Black Unicorn moving towards the Rainbow

Our Earthly Time Span Question

Many of us try to establish patterns in our lives all in an effort to make it seem like we have control over adverse circumstances. Sometimes this involves lying to ourselves and others hiding our true feelings because nobody likes a sour puss. We’ve been taught to operate with a stiff upper lip, think positive and remain stoic in the face of adversity. However the inner collapse has already happened. Try as we might to stifle the surging volcano of frustration and discouragement sooner or later the top will blow. If not directed towards someone else suppressed anger manifests itself externally through headaches, stomach aches, forgetfulness, and joint pain, physical and/or mental exhaustion.  Frustration without resolution leads to discouragement.  These symptoms of a greater problem cause our souls and spirits to die small deaths each day. The cause is suppressed anger. A mismatch of expectations between what we want and what actually is. Once burnt twice shy, we are hesitant in putting ourselves in a place of vulnerability. Adversity causes us to be reborn as skeptics, a legion of Doubting Thomases/Thomasinas hemmed in by emotional barbed wire. We are misfits out of context with our perceived natural environment. Destinies aborted.

Everyone is assigned a ministry in this life. That is that something special that we are specifically anointed to do that no one else can perform because the position is uniquely designed for us. Not necessarily a calling to the collar but a mission and a purpose especially designed for us. When we fail to operate in that office we feel a tugging, a pulling apart within our spirits until we function within our calling.

Walking Dichotomies

Some of us seek to exchange our current stifling identifies for one provides the realization of an unattainable lifestyle.  Perhaps this explains the popularity of Superheroes in our culture.  Most Superheroes start off as ordinary people who through some serendipitous and unforeseen circumstance, happening or even accident are transformed into beings that not only have powers that enhance their lives and the ability to positively affect the lives of those around them.  In reality these super powers often have unanticipated consequences that change the lives of these Superheroes both positively and negatively.

Or we live vicariously through our children. Their lives are just beginning ours are either in the middle or at the end. Children represent a fresh start whereas middle and old age often find us cynical and jaded worn down by the realities of daily living. Will the purity and innocence of the young redeem those seeking another chance to capture the brass ring? Highly unlikely. We can no more embody their hopes, dreams and goals anymore than they can ours. Let us not make the mistake of forcing our lost vocations cut off midstream upon the young people in our lives.

Often we spend our lives trying to be someone else or attempting to meet the expectations of family and society. We strive to become the “other” all the while failing to live in the here and now.

Life is like marriage. We take this life for better or for worse, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.  Like the Psalmist King David we feel that void of emptiness deep within our souls despite the outward appearance of privilege and comfort.

Psalm 42:5

New International Version (NIV)

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

 

But as our Biblical counterparts Ruth, Esther, Judith, DeBorah and Mary we press on through the challenges, the defeats, the sorrows and the pain to see God’s promise revealed and manifested to us and others. We may suffer defeat in battle but we have won the war. We stand as warriors bruised yet conquerors.

Donations can also be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless.

Unmasking the Secret — Exposing Errors of the Secular Prosperity Gospel

26 May

Unmasking the Secret

Exposing Errors of the Secular Prosperity Gospel

Proverbs 23:4-5

New International Version (NIV)

Do not wear yourself out to get rich;
do not trust your own cleverness.
Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone,
for they will surely sprout wings
and fly off to the sky like an eagle.

What is money but a necessary tool to buy the things that make life a little more comfortable? After all our economy is not based on the barter system, we can only receive food, shelter and clothing through monetary means.

Skeptic

Can reciting or believing specific affirmations make us more financially prosperous? Possibly, if these affirmations are coupled with hard work and financial savvy, we might be rich in houses, land, cars, techno gadgets and various other trappings of modern life but in the process we might become increasingly spiritually bereft. An abundance of money does give one a kind of freedom. All desire freedom from material want and lack something that is central in all societies, but too much concentration on the acquisition of money can be the ball and chain the binds us in servitude to the “Almighty Dollar”.

James Arthur Ray is the perfect example of how the Bible based Law of Attraction can be taken to the extreme and beyond. Mr. Ray is a false prophet who has turned what God meant for good into a systematic formula based on greed.

For people like him everything in the world can be reduced to a series of numbers, values or phrases. But I don’t just blame Mr. Ray after all he was not in this by himself. His followers chose to worship him and his phony techniques to their ultimate detriment resulting in some cases in the loss of life. Mutual motivations propel both the followers and his congregation. Mr. Ray’s flock like him are seduced with the promise of wealth, peace, unlimited prosperity in a series of gibberish culled from various philosophies which only transfer money from their pockets to his.

Just like certain phony preachers crowding the airwaves of The Word Network and TBN these self-help gurus take time honored principles from the Bible and Native American traditions, mix them all into a New Agey hodgepodge mumbo jumbo designed to suck in the needy and the greedy.  Truly these preening posing coxcombs embody every one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Like the ill fated protagonist Gustav von Aschenbach from the novella A Death in Venice written by Thomas Mann both the gurus and their followers march to their demise along a pathway which only leads to destruction.

Much like the “Prosperity Preachers and the Prosperity Gospel” those who don’t manifest immediate peace, insight, revelation or prosperity often endure from feelings of worthlessness. But that’s okay. Just give the Prophet or Guru another $500 to $2000 and we can go on another Vision Quest and try it again until you get it right. These seers or mystics prey on peoples’ weaknesses by bringing them to their breaking point.

There are many wonderful programs that assist people in terms of setting goals and meeting with like minded people on plans and strategies that will help the individual accomplish their goals. But none of those programs should involve blind obedience to a program or an individual.

Today’s Self-Help Gurus are only the latest incarnation of brainwashing cults intent on manipulating minds and emotions of searchers or those seeking to fill a void in their lives. These men and women just cobble together a philosophy that on the surface appears to be sound since it’s supposedly based on ancient wisdom, but in reality is has more holes than Swiss cheese. A workman is worthy or his hire, however he/she is also accountable to his flock and ultimately to God.

All faiths have sought to explain, prevent or relieve suffering but as human beings we know suffering is part of the human experience. We cannot avoid some suffering but on the other hand there is no need for us to going chasing after it either.

The Law of Attraction, by now we’ve all heard about this Biblical and Universal Law to some extent. As a man thinks so is he, Life and Death are in the Power of the Tongue, confessions, profession, affirmations, speak life, etc… You get the gist of the message. Yes to some extent your thoughts and words do create your world but simply speaking or thinking right thoughts is not a barrier to the issues of life. In fact Jesus said that we would have trials and tribulations in this life but He would be with us always. So the measure of a Blessed Life is not a big house, fine car or lots of money in the bank. How many rich people do we hear about daily who are unhappy, on drugs, alcohol, been married ten times or who just give up and commit suicide? So does money or the worldly version of success bring happiness or joy? No. Of course extreme poverty or serious illness is not a happy experience either but life is cyclical. We’re supposed to have ups and downs.

Beware any pastor, minister, or self help guru who makes promises that if we just follow their specialized guaranteed Twelve Steps to Success we will all be singing and dancing like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. The only people whose wealth is increasing are those false prophets whether they’re wearing a clerical collar or a designer suit.

The hidden unspoken message behind their declarations are that people who don’t experience success, i.e. folks who get sick, lose their job, home, fall on hard times or die did not have enough faith or didn’t follow the so-called steps for the “right results”.

Skeptical Believer

Redefine success. Your own personal success. Little did I realize that I was successful when I lost my good high paying job five years ago; when I found myself in the E.R. of Roosevelt Hospital, November 7, 2008 due to extreme high blood pressure; when I lost my vision in my left eye for over a year until surgery partially restored my sight January 2010, when I nearly died from an addiction to prescription medications, when I found myself penniless and unable to pay my rent or other bills I was still successful. When I hit rock bottom that’s when I lost all my pride and was forced to ask for help. When I prayed to God and asked him to send me help, my prayers were answered. I’m still not where I want to be in life but I’m on my way there. Why? Because I’m right where God wants me to be in life.

Philippians 3:13-14

New International Version (NIV)

13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/19/james-arthur-ray-sentenced_n_1102753.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-6186963-504083.html

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20504662,00.html

 Donations to this ministry can be made via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless.

The Cruelty of “Christianity”

5 May

The Cruelty of “Christianity”

Tekahionwake

“Oh, why have your people forced on me the name of Pauline Johnson? Was not my Indian name good enough? Do you think you help us by bidding us forget our blood? By teaching us to cast off all memory of our high ideals and our glorious past? I am an Indian. My pen and my life I devote to the memory of my own people. Forget that I was Pauline Johnson, but remember always that I was Tekahionwake, the Mohawk that humbly aspired to be the saga singer of her people, the bard of the noblest folk the world has ever seen, the sad historian of her own heroic race.”

Nobody knows my name or the real me except Jesus and him alone. Some ancestors unwillingly pulled from the breast of Mother Africa the others walked the “Trail of Tears”. Both had forced upon them the indoctrination of Euro-centric Christianity to the detriment of each noble culture.

A few months ago I traced my maternal ancestry back to Mozambique. When I made that discovery something in my spirit clicked and I knew that one day I had to return to the birthplace of my Great, great, great, great, great Grandmother, her birth name lost to time and eternity. Other ancestors born in this great land have yet to be revealed. Many times I wonder, “What was my African and/or Native American name.”  The names of Finney, Halstead, Gordon, Palmer were all given by some distant slave-owner. Who were they and who were they 500 years ago?

Like Tekahionwake I live my dichotomy every day even in my spiritual life wondering about the respective faiths of my African and Native American ancestors. Thinking about how their own unique worship was torn asunder only to be replaced by a Euro-centric “Christian” god who relegated them to a lesser status, below that of their European captors.

Children of an accursed Ham? (Genesis 9:20–27) I think not for the descendents of the great Realm of Ethiopia have risen again to the rightful place in the Diaspora.

Matthew 12:42

New King James Version (NKJV)

42 The queen of the South will rise up in the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and indeed a greater than Solomon is here.

The cries of my people would not be extinguished. The voices of my Native American ancestors called to me for redemption. Through an experiment called Carlisle Indian Industrial School History, really internment in re-culturalization concentration camps Richard Henry Pratt sought to erase the cultural identity of Kiowa, Cheyenne, Arapaho and other tribes through forcing children into complete immersion in Eurocentric culture and identity, effectively erasing their own. Take away a person’s language and belief systems, telling them that how God created them was wrong and had to be fixed only serves to create indwelling images of self-hatred within those lost children. If eradicating my indigenous and African American culture, traditions, ethnicity and exchanging them for dominant white culture will I be closer to God?  Will Jesus accept me in this new form?

As I gaze in the mirror as many Native Americans did 150 years ago neither my face nor my features as God made them can be erased. The efforts on the part of European conquerors failed. Nor were the colonizers able to erase the connection to the Great Spirit as he was known long before the white man touched our shores.

White man you tell me that only your version of Jesus can save my soul and deliver me from sin. And just what is my sin? Being born with a brown face, high cheek bones, full lips, long flowing Jet Black hair or locs that rise to kiss the sun. Does my sin lie in the dances my people perform to honor my ancestors and Mother Earth who gives us all sustenance? Am I or my ways at fault because we revere Nature as opposed to destroying the land, fouling the waters, polluting the environment in a never ending obsession to conquer, convert and control? Now who is the savage? Who is the so-called heathen?

Oh European who comes bearing the sign of the cross who is this God of yours that lifts up your customs and traditions but disparages mine? He is not the Jesus depicted in your Old Master paintings from Italy, Spain, France or the Flemish Masters. No, more than likely he was a swarthy man with kinky dark wooly hair, skin darkened by constant exposure to the sun. Jesus was someone whose looks paralleled the populations most of the indigenous tribes of Africa, North and South America.

Revelation 1:14-15

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; 15 His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters;

We Sisters and Brothers from what you named the “Third World” now know that Jesus came for us just as we are. God accepts us in all the richness with which he created us. We Black and Brown followers have redefined and returned Christianity to its original intent and meaning.

No longer do we walk the “Trail of Tears” or the Via Dolorosa. Now we stand together arm in arm marching onward to Zion that beautiful city of God taking our place among those who have been redeemed.

 Woman Ancestor from Dad's Side

Donations to this thought provoking Ministry for the Housing Fund can be made in U.S. Funds via money order or bank checks made directly to  Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless.


Mutilation — A Chapbook Memorial for Thelma Rosalie Palmer (1922-1985)

9 Apr

Mutilation

Tribute to Thelma Rosalie Palmer

I looked down at the angry red scar that ran nearly diagonally across what once was my right breast. Carefully almost reverently my left hand caressed the raised stitches that the doctor said would be removed in a few weeks. I was one of the lucky few. The surgeon removed the entire cancerous growth along with all my breast tissue. Bonus point: I did not require chemotherapy or radiation so at least I would get to keep my beautiful salt & pepper mane.

Once the swelling and redness had subsided the plastic surgeon explained to me I’d be a good candidate for reconstructive surgery. But in my musings I had already dismissed that option. I’d rather wear my mastectomy scar as an Amazonian badge of courage and honor. I was a Warrior Woman much like the mythical females immortalized in Greek literature.

This sacrificial scarification symbolized strength and endurance. The will, no, the need to go and move forward in life. As for the pain, it’s not so bad, not nearly as bad as when my ex pummeled me bloody and broken with his fists when I failed to obey some order known or unknown. This operation was not an intolerable as the bi-weekly rapes to which I was subjected.

Even now in the years since he left me on Thanksgiving Day 2007 I’ve considered taking lovers, even had a few imaginary ones but the nightmare replays itself again and again in my head. When I see an erect penis, a face appears right at the head, above the shaft. His face.  The face of my tormentor.  Sexual intercourse with him and forever more in my mind became associated with the lower bodily functions. It’s as though men blow their nose, defecate and vomit upon you in succession. No pleasure. Only pain and moral/emotional degradation. You can never forgive him and worst of all you can never forgive yourself for allowing this to happen. But I’m free now. This scar will protect me from further encounters. My greatest desire is to never be violated again.

I went to the weekly meetings of breast cancer survivors. But nothing will assuage the survivors’ guilt. Guilt that I had lived but my favorite aunt, Thelma Palmer Varner had not.

Aunt Thelma had married and divorced early in her life. Childless she devoted her spare time to her beloved nieces and nephews, especially the children of her only brother, Edward, myself and my brother Stephen. I spent many an enjoyable weekend at her apartment in Co-op City, The Bronx. Aunt Thelma was the fun aunt. We laughed; joked, played games. She took me shopping and told the most hilarious stories.

Aunt Thelma died of breast cancer. Carcinoma of the right breast read her death certificate. But I attributed her untimely death at age 62 to religious ignorance and blind obedience to error. Aunt Thelma a former AME turned Catholic got involved with the Church of Christ Science, better known as Christian Scientists. Mary Baker Eddy. They are neither Christians nor scientists. Christian Scientists claim all illness and sickness is an illusion, doctors are unnecessary and all appearance of sickness can be worked out through “science”. Visiting a doctor when you are in pain or have serious symptoms is considered “a lack of faith in Ms. Eddy’s principles”.  Mary Baker Eddy’s principles of Christian Science are false and ultimately dangerous if followed to the letter.

Aunt Thelma died a slow, painful, agonizing death in one of their “hospitals” in Westchester County. At her funeral one of their so-called ministers to whom Aunt Thelma had paid money for prayer actually had the nerve, audacity and gall to attend the services. If I had not been consumed with grief and wanting to be respectful of other family members I would have beat the woman to death. To this day I hope God assigns a special place in Hell for all Christian Science ministers and pastors. May their reading rooms be vandalized then burned to ashes in memory of their many mislead victims.

Wait my scar is throbbing. It’s speaking to me. This mutilated chest. My war wound.

I’ve decided once the area has completely healed to answer the scar’s calling and decorate my mangled bosom with a full color tattoo of Aunt Thelma and I costumed as Amazon Warrior Women intertwined eternally.

Thelma Rosalie Palmer Varner

1922 – 1985

Donations and Love Offerings can be made to this thought provoking ministry via Paypal using my email: deborah.palmer280@gmail.com. Thank you and God Bless.

Aunt Thelma -- The Early Years

Thelma Palmer Varner

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